7 June 2009
Why do we do it? Why do we say we are fine when we are not? I don't mean to any one who ask but to supposedly good friends.
Why? Why are we afraid to be needy, to show emotions or be dependent, why?
Why do we hold our emotions so closely to our hearts that we even pretend amongst very good friends?
I started asking myself this question lately as I was faced with this phoniness amongst friends, the pretentiousness to be ok when we are not. What's the point in having friends if we can't be ourselves with them, if we are still on guard when we are with them as opposes to throwing caution to the wind.
I don't mean be yourself with anyone who throws a smile your way and spill your guts, no. I mean the 2 or 3 or even 1 person in your life you call a friend or "a good friend", why do we hold back?
Isn't friendship about sharing the good and the bad times, both happy and sad news, ups and downs? I know that some of us have learnt a lesson or two from confiding in friends, and as a result decided to stop sharing to protect ourselves.
Regardless of our reasons, we should be able to identify very good friends from those who hang around us in the hopes of getting some juicy stories to spread around.
Friendship is about trust and if you've been around someone long enough, you should be able to know what they are capable of and whether they can be relied on to keep a secret.
There are various reasons for holding back from crying or just letting out, either we have never been upfront from the beginning and have presented a phoney side to our good friends such that, when faced with a situation that is contrary to the picture we've given, we can't bear to be seen or perceived too weak or needy, it may be that we are simply afraid of being judged even by good friends.
I've learnt that people will open up to you to the degree you open up to them, simply because once we are able to open up to each other about our deepest concerns, thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, we begin to build a trust that makes the friendship closer.
Whatever the reasons we do what we do, out of ignorance, pride, self confidence, self sufficiency or protection……
Remember if you are perceived as friend, act as one, be one,
Let friendship be the ship on which you set sail the emotions of your heart
Let it take you to the edge, experience the intensity it brings
Let it be the music that wakes you up from the dept of despair
let it be the warmth that covers you in cold
Let it relief you from your fears
Let the summers and winters of your life be filled with the beauty of good friends
Discover yourself in friendship for the hope it brings and the joy it releases
hope in despair
peace in turmoil
relief from pain
a shoulder of steel
a silence of thought
an acceptance of imperfection
and a joy in sharing
Let friendship be the light house that shines brightly in the dark tides of your life
for it will lead you to shores of safety when all else fails.
"You use steel to sharpen steel and one friend sharpens another" Prov 27:17 the message bible.
Pictures by "Photobucke"